I feel as though my blogs as of late haven't been particularly deep in any way. But that's just where I am in life right now. I'm at the surface in a new part of my life, just biding my time until I can truly dive in deep. But for now, I'll just write about new and exciting things I discover here in Korea.
Last night, the dorm staff and our few new students (the returning students come today) went out to dinner and movie. We walked to a Japanese restaurant just down the street and I once again discovered the inexpensive cuisine offered here in Korea. For 6,000 Won (around 6 bucks) I got a huge portion of fish along with soup, cabbage, corn, rice, kimchi, and other veggies. Let's just say I couldn't quite conquer it. From there, we went to Say Department store. In Daejeon, we don't have malls, we have department stores. Inside, there are tons of restaurants and sub-stores so it looks just like a mall (but instead of taking up a lot of land, it has tons of floors). Well, we went to a movie in this department store (there's a theater in it too). What movie?? Transformers. It was shown in English with Korean subtitles. Seats at Korean movie theaters are assigned. You'd think that this means you wouldn't have to buy the tickets early. BUT, Koreans love their movies. You're best off buying online a few days in advance and then showing up to the theater 20 minutes early (at least on weekends). At the movie, the audience was mainly Korean except for a couple of our students and the 4 dorm staff members. As a result, there were times when we were laughing at jokes in the movie but the rest of the audience didn't understand them. So much of our humor doesn't translate or gets lost in the subtitles. Let's just say we got a lot of looks.
So, that was my first night out with the dorm. The rest of the students come today and school starts tomorrow. I'm excited to finally feel a sense of routine and discover what this whole RA thing is all about. Thanks for the replies and prayers. I miss you all!!
Random Korean Fact:
Even though several places and stores have English names, they are "Konglish" instead of straight up English. If I were to get into a taxi and say "HomePlus" (a Walmart-ish store), the driver wouldn't really understand me. However, if I said "hom-u plus-a", they would get it.
DVD Bangs are stores where you can rent a movie and then also a room to watch it in. There are different size rooms and different size TVs to watch the movies on, but you go with your friends, pick out a movie and then watch it right then and there.
There are parts of the city that look so advanced. The movie theater looks very futuristic as do some of the buildings and cars. But the streets are still narrow, there is garbage everywhere and some of the buildings look very old. It's almost like I'm living in two different time periods.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Breakaway...
We're in the middle of Breakaway weekend...new student orientation. Springer dorm (where I am an RA) has only 2 new dorm students here and a few OCK's (Out of Country Kids...their parents are either missionaries or just live in another country). We've had activities, games, skits, rule sessions, worship, hang out time and mini-messages from some of our dorm dads. Today we went up to Suwon to our sister school and hung out there. For one of the games, they (being two of the RAs) asked for a volunteer from each dorm staff. Well, I had to go. The game? I had to chug a blended mixture of bananas, grapefruit juice, canned beats and shrimp fries (a snack here in Korea). Let's just say after two big gulps, I was done for. On the way back from Suwon, we stopped for dinner at an amazing Thai place and then walked around. We happened to be right next to the U.S. Military base so there were tons of American soldiers around (as well as families). The people in the shops spoke English, there were tons of knock-off stores (one of the RAs bought the movie Hairspray on DVD...hmm, isn't that still in theaters in the states??) but along with the great shopping, there were plenty of sad sights. It made me ashamed to be an American when I heard of what goes on around the base. We had to warn our high school boys that if a woman tries to talk to them that they need to get away from her as fast as possible beause she's probably a prostitute. How sad that the perimeter of a U.S. Military base is filled with filthly bars, night clubs and pimp houses...while I appreciate all they do for our country, many still need Jesus.
I've always like being busy. In college I thrived on activities. That being the case, God sure knew what He was doing. I hang out with kids all day, making sure they get from place to place and on top of that, I'm the co-leader for the middle and high school praise teams. I've helped to lead worship already this weekend and tomorrow will be time #2. I'm hanging out with kids in a foreign country and leading worship for my job....wow, God knew what He was doing. While I'm just begining to realize what it means to live in a place where few speak my language and values are so different, I'm holding fast to my calling and looking foward to an amazing (yet challenging) year here in South Korea!
Random Korean Facts:
Hierarchy is so important here. If you're in line at the store, an older person can just come in front of you, cutting you off. This isn't rude or inconsiderate, it's just accepted in the Korean culture for elders to have the right of way.
Koreans LOVE golf. When driving on a Korean highway, if you look to the left or right, chances are you'll see a big green net and frame. There are driving ranges everywhere. From the roof of supermarkets to the top of parking garages. They are everywhere. Koreans love their golf.
If you want to keep the mosquitos away, you buy a Mogi machine (mogi is the Korean word for mosquito). You put mogi oil in it and plug it into the wall. It emits a kind of bug spray in the air to kill and detract the bugs. Everyone seems to have one....
The legal drinking age in Korean is pretty insignificant. Kids as young as 13 can go into stores and cages (the Korean word for convenience store) and buy alcohol. Because of the large alcohol consumption (and the view of women in Korean society) domestic violence is a HUGE problem.
This is less of a fact and more of a funny story. I was in the store the other day and the song "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne came on the speakers. I started singing along with the first chorus but once the verses started, the singer and language changed to Korean. I obiously couldn't sing along. But once the chorus came on again, there was Avril, singing in English. I wonder how that Korean girl got that gig...Avril's Korean voice double.
Last random Korean fact for today?? I really love this country!
I've always like being busy. In college I thrived on activities. That being the case, God sure knew what He was doing. I hang out with kids all day, making sure they get from place to place and on top of that, I'm the co-leader for the middle and high school praise teams. I've helped to lead worship already this weekend and tomorrow will be time #2. I'm hanging out with kids in a foreign country and leading worship for my job....wow, God knew what He was doing. While I'm just begining to realize what it means to live in a place where few speak my language and values are so different, I'm holding fast to my calling and looking foward to an amazing (yet challenging) year here in South Korea!
Random Korean Facts:
Hierarchy is so important here. If you're in line at the store, an older person can just come in front of you, cutting you off. This isn't rude or inconsiderate, it's just accepted in the Korean culture for elders to have the right of way.
Koreans LOVE golf. When driving on a Korean highway, if you look to the left or right, chances are you'll see a big green net and frame. There are driving ranges everywhere. From the roof of supermarkets to the top of parking garages. They are everywhere. Koreans love their golf.
If you want to keep the mosquitos away, you buy a Mogi machine (mogi is the Korean word for mosquito). You put mogi oil in it and plug it into the wall. It emits a kind of bug spray in the air to kill and detract the bugs. Everyone seems to have one....
The legal drinking age in Korean is pretty insignificant. Kids as young as 13 can go into stores and cages (the Korean word for convenience store) and buy alcohol. Because of the large alcohol consumption (and the view of women in Korean society) domestic violence is a HUGE problem.
This is less of a fact and more of a funny story. I was in the store the other day and the song "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne came on the speakers. I started singing along with the first chorus but once the verses started, the singer and language changed to Korean. I obiously couldn't sing along. But once the chorus came on again, there was Avril, singing in English. I wonder how that Korean girl got that gig...Avril's Korean voice double.
Last random Korean fact for today?? I really love this country!
Monday, August 06, 2007
Good Ole' City Life
Surprisingly, the biggest adjustment I've been dealing with the past few days is not the fact that I'm living in a country with an unknown language but the fact that I'm living in a huge city. Daejeon is a city of 1.5 million, the majority living in high rise apartments. As previously stated, the school's front gate is just off a very busy (and neon lighted) street. In fact, my apartment is in a building outside of campus so it lies directly on a busy street. Tonight, Allison and I (the other new RA) ventured down the main street outside of the school and discoverd that city life is so crazy! We caught a cab with Angela, my dorm's mom and took it to downtown Daejeon. Now, if you've ever seen Times Square in NYC, multiply that by about 5 and you'll get the feeling for downtown. The streets are closed to cars and neon lights are EVERYWHERE! We were there are 9Pm and I could've worn sunglasses! What's crazy is that just a few blocks away from downtown is Old Downtown where during the day you can buy fresh fish and other goods from huts in typical old-school Asian style. But once the sun goes down, the huts are closed and the lights are turned on.
With all that said, the city life is hitting me hard. I've never been a city girl but I'm sure I'll adapt. Oh, today we went to Costco and they have cheese!!! Yes, this Wisconsin girl can still get her cheese (but it costs 8,000 won, equal to about 8 American dollars). I'm finding many American goods are readily available but cost an arm and a leg as opposed to the Korean goods which are generally dirt cheap. Anyway, enough rambling, not much else happened today. All the other RAs and faculty will be here tomorrow for meetings and convocation. Students come on Thursday....God prepare me! Thanks for your prayers!!
Random Korean Facts:
Cab rides are amazingly cheap....4 bucks is expensive!
Koreans know how to do shopping. Their dollar store (or 1000 Won Store) has stuff you wouldn't believe! Seriously, the quality of goods made my mouth drop and my wallet empty. Stores like HomeEver (Korean version of a Target type store) are HUGE! They all seem to have large food courts inside, several floors, extensive goods and one even had a driving range on the roof. Shopping in Korea = an amazing experience.
There are two different number systems in the Korean language! One set is used for money and the other for items. But once you get more than 20 items, you switch to the money system. I was so excited because I learned 1-10 in the money system and then went to the store. When the clerk asked me (in Korean) how many bags I wanted (you have to pay for every plastic bag you get at the store so you're better off bringing your own), I said "ee" which means 2 but 2 in the money system. I was so excited that I new the right word only to find out later that I was wrong. I should've said "dual"...oh man...it's gonna be a tough language to learn!!
With all that said, the city life is hitting me hard. I've never been a city girl but I'm sure I'll adapt. Oh, today we went to Costco and they have cheese!!! Yes, this Wisconsin girl can still get her cheese (but it costs 8,000 won, equal to about 8 American dollars). I'm finding many American goods are readily available but cost an arm and a leg as opposed to the Korean goods which are generally dirt cheap. Anyway, enough rambling, not much else happened today. All the other RAs and faculty will be here tomorrow for meetings and convocation. Students come on Thursday....God prepare me! Thanks for your prayers!!
Random Korean Facts:
Cab rides are amazingly cheap....4 bucks is expensive!
Koreans know how to do shopping. Their dollar store (or 1000 Won Store) has stuff you wouldn't believe! Seriously, the quality of goods made my mouth drop and my wallet empty. Stores like HomeEver (Korean version of a Target type store) are HUGE! They all seem to have large food courts inside, several floors, extensive goods and one even had a driving range on the roof. Shopping in Korea = an amazing experience.
There are two different number systems in the Korean language! One set is used for money and the other for items. But once you get more than 20 items, you switch to the money system. I was so excited because I learned 1-10 in the money system and then went to the store. When the clerk asked me (in Korean) how many bags I wanted (you have to pay for every plastic bag you get at the store so you're better off bringing your own), I said "ee" which means 2 but 2 in the money system. I was so excited that I new the right word only to find out later that I was wrong. I should've said "dual"...oh man...it's gonna be a tough language to learn!!
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Yes... I Live in Korea
For 3 full days now, I've lived in the city of Daejeon, South Korea. The verdict? I LOVE it. The school that I'm working at is right in the middle of the city. Just a few yards from the gate and you're on a very busy street filled with random stores, coffee shops and various other restaurants. Let's just say it's a world away from Marion, IN. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but I'm definately in Asia. The streets are about as wide as alleys, drivers are crazy, rice is sold in dog food bagsand some of the most peculiar things happen. That's why I'll be including "Random Korean Facts" in the blog (see below). My apartment is small but it's home. I live on the 5th and 6th floors of a dorm just off campus (stairs inside my apartment go to my bedroom), my sweet round windows overlook a busy city street and just a few blocks away is a university of around 20,000 students. The staff thus far is absolutely wonderful. The rest of the dorm staff arrives tomorrow and the students get here on Thursday. Now that I'm over jet lag and have my apartment unpacked I can't wait for the students to get here. 32 boys and girls (I'm directly over 16 girls)!!! Everday, I wake up- think "wow, I'm living in Asia, working at a Christian school in student development" and I marvel at how I got here. God is so good and so stinking wise. He knew exactly what I needed and what had to be taken away from me to step out into His plan. I'm living by myself in a foreign land completely out of my comfort zone and I LOVE it. Thank you God for knowing what we need eons before we know it ourselves.
Well, Gilmore Girls is playing on my TV and I have a few more pictures to hang up, so this is the end. Thanks for reading! And an-young-ka-seo (one of the forms of good-bye).
RANDOM KOREAN FACTS:
In HomePlus (basically a Korean Walmart Supercenter) every half and hour or so, the employees all stand at the end of their respective isles and sing along with a song played over the loud system. In fact, they have choreography that goes with it. Once the song is done, they bow and go back to work like nothing happened.
When you go to nicer restaurants, you take off your shoes and place them in cubbies by the entrance.
It's completely normal for members of the samesex to hold hands in public. It doesn't mean anything homosexual, it's just an acceptable way that good friends show their affection for each other, male or female.
Churches all have large, red neon crosses on the top of their buildings and since many are just one floor of very tall buildings, these crosses tower above the streets. When you're driving into Seoul or Daejeon, you can see tons of neon crosses lighting up the night sky. It's actually amaszing.
Well, Gilmore Girls is playing on my TV and I have a few more pictures to hang up, so this is the end. Thanks for reading! And an-young-ka-seo (one of the forms of good-bye).
RANDOM KOREAN FACTS:
In HomePlus (basically a Korean Walmart Supercenter) every half and hour or so, the employees all stand at the end of their respective isles and sing along with a song played over the loud system. In fact, they have choreography that goes with it. Once the song is done, they bow and go back to work like nothing happened.
When you go to nicer restaurants, you take off your shoes and place them in cubbies by the entrance.
It's completely normal for members of the samesex to hold hands in public. It doesn't mean anything homosexual, it's just an acceptable way that good friends show their affection for each other, male or female.
Churches all have large, red neon crosses on the top of their buildings and since many are just one floor of very tall buildings, these crosses tower above the streets. When you're driving into Seoul or Daejeon, you can see tons of neon crosses lighting up the night sky. It's actually amaszing.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Oh Life
This summer has been crazy. I got back from the Czech Republic, spent 3 weeks at home, went to two weddings then headed to Houghton NY for pre-field orientation. I spent 2 weeks in sessions about working in international schools, missions and other various preperatory topics. I met some of the people that will be at TCIS with me and many others who will be spread across the globe. It's feels so great knowing that others are in the same boat you are only their going to Africa or Europe. Missions is alive and well and there are plently of young people ready to fight the battle.
So, I got back from PFO and headed to another wedding in Indiana. Got back from that and headed to Pennsylvania to visit some old friends (from Continentals and SLAM). This week has been filled with really tough and confusing emotions. We traveled to a kids camp in D.C. that we ministered at last year and got to see many of the kids and counselors again. I got to see Paul from SLAM and had to then say goodbye to him. We saw a Continental Concert with plenty of old friends on board (Nathan, Jordan, others) but then had to say goodbye. I leave today and will have to say goodbye to the friends here. I don't know when the next time I'll be able to come out to PA again is. God seems to throw curve balls my way a lot.
I leave on Wednesday to go to Jen and Tom's wedding. So many friends will be there but along with it, so many goodbyes will be shared. I was fine with graduating from college because I knew without a doubt that I would see all these people during the summer. Now I'm really moving to South Korea and won't be able to see them for a year. It's finally setting in.
This blog hasn't been super profound or though-provoking. But it's where my heart is right now. I'm so full of emotion that I just needed to write it down. So, there you have it...
So, I got back from PFO and headed to another wedding in Indiana. Got back from that and headed to Pennsylvania to visit some old friends (from Continentals and SLAM). This week has been filled with really tough and confusing emotions. We traveled to a kids camp in D.C. that we ministered at last year and got to see many of the kids and counselors again. I got to see Paul from SLAM and had to then say goodbye to him. We saw a Continental Concert with plenty of old friends on board (Nathan, Jordan, others) but then had to say goodbye. I leave today and will have to say goodbye to the friends here. I don't know when the next time I'll be able to come out to PA again is. God seems to throw curve balls my way a lot.
I leave on Wednesday to go to Jen and Tom's wedding. So many friends will be there but along with it, so many goodbyes will be shared. I was fine with graduating from college because I knew without a doubt that I would see all these people during the summer. Now I'm really moving to South Korea and won't be able to see them for a year. It's finally setting in.
This blog hasn't been super profound or though-provoking. But it's where my heart is right now. I'm so full of emotion that I just needed to write it down. So, there you have it...
Thursday, June 21, 2007
My Life at Present...
Steal my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time, my time has come
Let me in unlock the door
I've never felt this way before
The wheels just keep on turning
The drummer's began to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know which way I've come
Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For your I've waited all these years
For you I'd wait til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,
"I wouldn't change a single thing."
The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know what I've become.
For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,
Until my days, my days are done.
Say you'll come and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
~"Til Kingdom Come"- Coldplay
I feel my time, my time has come
Let me in unlock the door
I've never felt this way before
The wheels just keep on turning
The drummer's began to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know which way I've come
Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For your I've waited all these years
For you I'd wait til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,
"I wouldn't change a single thing."
The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know what I've become.
For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,
Until my days, my days are done.
Say you'll come and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
~"Til Kingdom Come"- Coldplay
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Lazy Summer Days
Now that I'm home, life has taken a drastic turn. I am no longer frantically finishing papers, putting together worship services, keeping up with which resident is doing what...life is different. Life is weird.
My typical post-graduation day (besides my 3-week missions trip to the Czech Republic, which was challenging yet amazing...ask me about it sometime, it's still too fresh to really process) looks a little like this:
11:00- roll out of bed
11:10- eat whatever granola bar happens to be in the cupboard
11:15- sit down with my TCIS stuff (the school in Korea), my loan stuff, my grad school stuff and any other "stuff" that seems to be in my life.
11:20- take a break from staring at all the forms, calls, emails and to-do lists that I have to tackle and see what's on TV
11:25- turn the TV off because there is NOTHING on and get back to the stuff.
1:00- lunch
1:30-6:00- organize or pack something else, do some errands, watch an episode of Christy (yes, now have the whole series on DVD), call friends, read, or just sit and stare at the ceiling, wondering how in the world I got here.
6:00- dinner
6:15 (Dainsbergs are fast eaters)-12:00- hang out with the fam.
Exciting life? I'm going with a "no". But my days are full of contemplation and preparation. I know that I've talked about Korea a lot in this blog but now that I'm less than two months away (and only 3 weeks from orientation), it's more real to me than ever.
I miss IWU. I don't miss the course load or the unending stress. I miss the spiritual community that was always pushing you to go deeper with the Lord. Since being home, my relationship with Papa hasn't been the greatest. Maybe it's my current state of anxiety. Maybe it's because I sit alone a lot of the day and can't muster up enough self-motivation. Maybe I'm just not trying. Whatever it is, it isn't right. So, something's gotta change. Somewhere in my daily schedule, God needs a big chunk of alone time with me...
So there you have it, my thoughts about summer thus far on this, the 7th day of June. Even though most of us who just graduated from college are going through a variety of emotions, please keep me in your prayers. I'm leaving everything in 54 days and moving to the other side of the world.
...but it's ok- God's there too!
My typical post-graduation day (besides my 3-week missions trip to the Czech Republic, which was challenging yet amazing...ask me about it sometime, it's still too fresh to really process) looks a little like this:
11:00- roll out of bed
11:10- eat whatever granola bar happens to be in the cupboard
11:15- sit down with my TCIS stuff (the school in Korea), my loan stuff, my grad school stuff and any other "stuff" that seems to be in my life.
11:20- take a break from staring at all the forms, calls, emails and to-do lists that I have to tackle and see what's on TV
11:25- turn the TV off because there is NOTHING on and get back to the stuff.
1:00- lunch
1:30-6:00- organize or pack something else, do some errands, watch an episode of Christy (yes, now have the whole series on DVD), call friends, read, or just sit and stare at the ceiling, wondering how in the world I got here.
6:00- dinner
6:15 (Dainsbergs are fast eaters)-12:00- hang out with the fam.
Exciting life? I'm going with a "no". But my days are full of contemplation and preparation. I know that I've talked about Korea a lot in this blog but now that I'm less than two months away (and only 3 weeks from orientation), it's more real to me than ever.
I miss IWU. I don't miss the course load or the unending stress. I miss the spiritual community that was always pushing you to go deeper with the Lord. Since being home, my relationship with Papa hasn't been the greatest. Maybe it's my current state of anxiety. Maybe it's because I sit alone a lot of the day and can't muster up enough self-motivation. Maybe I'm just not trying. Whatever it is, it isn't right. So, something's gotta change. Somewhere in my daily schedule, God needs a big chunk of alone time with me...
So there you have it, my thoughts about summer thus far on this, the 7th day of June. Even though most of us who just graduated from college are going through a variety of emotions, please keep me in your prayers. I'm leaving everything in 54 days and moving to the other side of the world.
...but it's ok- God's there too!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Two Thoughts in One
It's a blessed day when we can sit back, throw up our hands and say "I don't know". What powerful three words! So often, I HAVE to have the answers. For those who know me, I will sometimes make up something just so I have an answer. Those who know me really well will immediately be able to tell that I'm lying and they'll call me out on it. The fact of the matter is, it's ok to not know.
In fact, too often deep knowledge can get in the way of the childlike faith we are called to. Now, I'm not saying to stop all the studying and exegeting. Rather, belly up to the possibility that we'll never know all the answers. I like that concept better anyway.
By acknowledging that we'll never know everything, I can be free to rest upon the one thing I know for certain...the undeniable Word of God. And that, my friends, is not a lie.
The other thought rolling around in this head of mine is just these two words: divine imagination. Wait. Think about it. Read it again: divine imagination.
Trying to wrap my brain around that idea has left me in a place of peace. Going along with the former thought, what happens when I don't know the answers? What happens when something doesn't seem to make sense or that something just won't work out. Well, that's when divine imagination can step in. How often do we draw a box around God? Who says we only have to color inside the lines? We serve an incredibly creative God!! He can take nothing and turn it into a great big something. What makes us think that he won't continue to do so?
Sometimes you just need to rest on divine imagination...
In fact, too often deep knowledge can get in the way of the childlike faith we are called to. Now, I'm not saying to stop all the studying and exegeting. Rather, belly up to the possibility that we'll never know all the answers. I like that concept better anyway.
By acknowledging that we'll never know everything, I can be free to rest upon the one thing I know for certain...the undeniable Word of God. And that, my friends, is not a lie.
The other thought rolling around in this head of mine is just these two words: divine imagination. Wait. Think about it. Read it again: divine imagination.
Trying to wrap my brain around that idea has left me in a place of peace. Going along with the former thought, what happens when I don't know the answers? What happens when something doesn't seem to make sense or that something just won't work out. Well, that's when divine imagination can step in. How often do we draw a box around God? Who says we only have to color inside the lines? We serve an incredibly creative God!! He can take nothing and turn it into a great big something. What makes us think that he won't continue to do so?
Sometimes you just need to rest on divine imagination...
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Suburbia
Today marked the conclusion of Missions week here at the WU. But before I go into detail about the chapel services, let me tell you about the week in general.
Monday night, the snow started. Now, I've seen my fare share of snow in my life but wow, this was a doozy. They canceled school (yes, college) on Tuesday AND Wednesday. There was basically a blizzard for 2 days. We got about 15 inches and students are still digging their cars out of about 3 feet of snow graciously piled up behind bumpers by the snow plows. While I welcome any chance to get out of class, the snow caused some issues for Missions week.
I was in charge of worship and since all the academic buildings were closed, I had to pull some strings (and walk 4 blocks in a blizzard since the county issued a Level 2 travel restriction-no cars on the road for 2 days...or else!) in order to practice with the band. Then, chapel on Wednesday was made voluntary (which was absolutely amazing, by the way). Why is it that when the mandate of chapel is taken away it gets so much better? Instead of having 3,000 in attendance, you have 100 people who truly want to be there to worship our Lord. Anyway, this was all after a rough Monday. I was feeling inadequate and unorganized. When it comes to worship leading, I HATE those emotions. After all, this is my major! I should be able to do this with ease, right?
Well, Friday's worship didn't go exactly as planned either. Technical difficulties triumphed over my spirit in BOTH services and I sat down, defeated. Then Steve Moore, our speaker for the week, shared from the Word. Acts 20:22-24 is an absolutely amazing passage that I never really noticed before.
"And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."
Wow. Paul considered his life completely nothing without bringing the gospel to the world. If only I could have such passion. I felt attacked all week...and I finally realized why. Why did the worship not go as planned? Why did I cry at every chapel? Why were my spirits down all week? Because, once again I was leaning on my strength. My life is worth nothing! My talents are worth nothing...unless I use them for my Lord. I was the weakest I had been all year and that's exactly where Papa wanted me. For in my weakness, He has more room to be glorified. When I'm as low as possible, He can get even higher. He was glorified more in my shortcomings and humble checks than any high tech-musically intricate super service I couldn't produced.
God's been calling me out all week. The theme for missions week was "abandon". How fitting. So what if things didn't go as planned. Abandon my expectations and my race for glory for the sake of the cross. Abandon my fears of moving to South Korea. Won't God be there too? Will He not go before me? It's so fitting that the week that required the most spiritually, physically and emotionally was about going to the ends of the earth. Thank you, Lord, for reaffirming my call into missions. It's a scary one, but I'm ready.
Steve said some pretty amazing things this week. Here are some that struck me the most:
"Live on purpose" (yeah, sounds cliche but think about it...)
"We need to abandon the thought life that says: if it's something I like, God will call me to it. If it's hard, God won't ask"
"Clarity about the task doesn't remove uncertainty about the results."
"Uncertainty breed passivity"
"The most important thing about you is what comes to your mind when you think about God"(that's good ole' A.W. Tozer)
...and...
"Suburbia is sucking the life out of us more than any third world country could."
...amen and amen.
Monday night, the snow started. Now, I've seen my fare share of snow in my life but wow, this was a doozy. They canceled school (yes, college) on Tuesday AND Wednesday. There was basically a blizzard for 2 days. We got about 15 inches and students are still digging their cars out of about 3 feet of snow graciously piled up behind bumpers by the snow plows. While I welcome any chance to get out of class, the snow caused some issues for Missions week.
I was in charge of worship and since all the academic buildings were closed, I had to pull some strings (and walk 4 blocks in a blizzard since the county issued a Level 2 travel restriction-no cars on the road for 2 days...or else!) in order to practice with the band. Then, chapel on Wednesday was made voluntary (which was absolutely amazing, by the way). Why is it that when the mandate of chapel is taken away it gets so much better? Instead of having 3,000 in attendance, you have 100 people who truly want to be there to worship our Lord. Anyway, this was all after a rough Monday. I was feeling inadequate and unorganized. When it comes to worship leading, I HATE those emotions. After all, this is my major! I should be able to do this with ease, right?
Well, Friday's worship didn't go exactly as planned either. Technical difficulties triumphed over my spirit in BOTH services and I sat down, defeated. Then Steve Moore, our speaker for the week, shared from the Word. Acts 20:22-24 is an absolutely amazing passage that I never really noticed before.
"And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."
Wow. Paul considered his life completely nothing without bringing the gospel to the world. If only I could have such passion. I felt attacked all week...and I finally realized why. Why did the worship not go as planned? Why did I cry at every chapel? Why were my spirits down all week? Because, once again I was leaning on my strength. My life is worth nothing! My talents are worth nothing...unless I use them for my Lord. I was the weakest I had been all year and that's exactly where Papa wanted me. For in my weakness, He has more room to be glorified. When I'm as low as possible, He can get even higher. He was glorified more in my shortcomings and humble checks than any high tech-musically intricate super service I couldn't produced.
God's been calling me out all week. The theme for missions week was "abandon". How fitting. So what if things didn't go as planned. Abandon my expectations and my race for glory for the sake of the cross. Abandon my fears of moving to South Korea. Won't God be there too? Will He not go before me? It's so fitting that the week that required the most spiritually, physically and emotionally was about going to the ends of the earth. Thank you, Lord, for reaffirming my call into missions. It's a scary one, but I'm ready.
Steve said some pretty amazing things this week. Here are some that struck me the most:
"Live on purpose" (yeah, sounds cliche but think about it...)
"We need to abandon the thought life that says: if it's something I like, God will call me to it. If it's hard, God won't ask"
"Clarity about the task doesn't remove uncertainty about the results."
"Uncertainty breed passivity"
"The most important thing about you is what comes to your mind when you think about God"(that's good ole' A.W. Tozer)
...and...
"Suburbia is sucking the life out of us more than any third world country could."
...amen and amen.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Academia...or lack there of
I've tried to check out. I have done everything in my power to do homework for the sake of getting it done and give lackluster performances in my classes this semester. After all, I already have a job. I'm already accepted into seminary. I have 3 months of college left in my entire life. Why shouldn't I be lazy when it comes to academics?
Because that's not me, that's why. I am a perfectionist (both good and bad). I hate it that I can't leave a room knowing that something is grossly out of place. I don't like that I walk around my townhouse picking even little lint specks off of the floor. I can't turn in a paper late...ever. It's just not in my nature to slop words together on a page and turn it in. I can't use all my skips in a class just because I can. Being a perfectionist in the second semester of my senior year is...difficult.
But it's not just that I'm a perfectionist. I see school work as an act of worship. The Lord was gracious enough to allow me to come to IWU. He has miraculously provided the funds to study here under some of the greatest minds I have ever encountered. Slacking off, even in my last semester just doesn't seem like worship of our Lord.
I want to live every moment to its fullest. I want to soak up as much of my friends as possible. I want to take advantage of the spiritual atmosphere here. I want to be able to randomly go to Kokomo at midnight to satisfy Bekah's IHOP craving. But I also want to leaving knowing that I did my best and gave my all...freshman or senior.
Because that's not me, that's why. I am a perfectionist (both good and bad). I hate it that I can't leave a room knowing that something is grossly out of place. I don't like that I walk around my townhouse picking even little lint specks off of the floor. I can't turn in a paper late...ever. It's just not in my nature to slop words together on a page and turn it in. I can't use all my skips in a class just because I can. Being a perfectionist in the second semester of my senior year is...difficult.
But it's not just that I'm a perfectionist. I see school work as an act of worship. The Lord was gracious enough to allow me to come to IWU. He has miraculously provided the funds to study here under some of the greatest minds I have ever encountered. Slacking off, even in my last semester just doesn't seem like worship of our Lord.
I want to live every moment to its fullest. I want to soak up as much of my friends as possible. I want to take advantage of the spiritual atmosphere here. I want to be able to randomly go to Kokomo at midnight to satisfy Bekah's IHOP craving. But I also want to leaving knowing that I did my best and gave my all...freshman or senior.
Friday, January 19, 2007
The Mountain
How many times do I have to climb up the mountain for a few distinct moments in the crisp air only to tumble down to the earth again?
We just concluded our Spiritual Emphasis Week here at the WU and after 6 Summit services in 3 days, the mountain top is on my mind. I can't say that I was spiritually challenged by the speakers in new and profound ways (though they were anointed men of God who certainly proclaimed the Word), rather it was through the worship that conviction came into play. I had the amazing blessing to help lead the worship time with 9 of the greatest musicians on campus. For one week, my nights were consumed with practices and fellowship with these friends. Then, when Monday rolled around, we stood in front of the IWU student body and led them in worship of our Almighty Lord. After I lead worship, I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. You would think that after singing praises to the Lord that at least spiritually I would be energized. But leading worship is like taking all your energy and giving it to the people in the congregation, leaving you with none.
Let's just say that by the end of our Summit services, I was left feeling exhausted. After the last service all I wanted to do was process and contemplate what had taken place. But I couldn't, life had to go on. Homework and meetings were waiting and the week wasn't over.
So what does any of this have to do with the mountain top experience? Absolutely nothing. That's kinda the point. I don't think we place enough stock in the valleys or the simple plains that lie between the peaks. We look to weeks like this one for a spiritual pep rally but don't realize that the "game" never ends. I didn't get any spiritual high from this, my last Summit at IWU and I wouldn't have it any other way. Through this week, the Lord grabbed a hold of me, pointed out some very evident weaknesses in my life and has begun to shape me out of those. He has taught me what it means to be selfless and giving in a ministerial setting and helped me realize why exactly He has blessed me with these musical abilities (well, we're still feeling that one out a bit). He did all of this not through a great speaker calling out challenges or corporate times of raising hands and singing. He did it in practices. He did it in my 5 minutes of down time each day. He did it through the tears I shed, thinking that there was no way I'd get through the exhausting week in one piece. He did it in the valleys and plains. I've been more challenege in this Summit week than any other I've experience at school. God can reach us just as easy in the plains as the mountains. And when we let Him, even the plains seem like they are touching the sky.
"We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life- those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength." -Oswald Chambers
We just concluded our Spiritual Emphasis Week here at the WU and after 6 Summit services in 3 days, the mountain top is on my mind. I can't say that I was spiritually challenged by the speakers in new and profound ways (though they were anointed men of God who certainly proclaimed the Word), rather it was through the worship that conviction came into play. I had the amazing blessing to help lead the worship time with 9 of the greatest musicians on campus. For one week, my nights were consumed with practices and fellowship with these friends. Then, when Monday rolled around, we stood in front of the IWU student body and led them in worship of our Almighty Lord. After I lead worship, I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. You would think that after singing praises to the Lord that at least spiritually I would be energized. But leading worship is like taking all your energy and giving it to the people in the congregation, leaving you with none.
Let's just say that by the end of our Summit services, I was left feeling exhausted. After the last service all I wanted to do was process and contemplate what had taken place. But I couldn't, life had to go on. Homework and meetings were waiting and the week wasn't over.
So what does any of this have to do with the mountain top experience? Absolutely nothing. That's kinda the point. I don't think we place enough stock in the valleys or the simple plains that lie between the peaks. We look to weeks like this one for a spiritual pep rally but don't realize that the "game" never ends. I didn't get any spiritual high from this, my last Summit at IWU and I wouldn't have it any other way. Through this week, the Lord grabbed a hold of me, pointed out some very evident weaknesses in my life and has begun to shape me out of those. He has taught me what it means to be selfless and giving in a ministerial setting and helped me realize why exactly He has blessed me with these musical abilities (well, we're still feeling that one out a bit). He did all of this not through a great speaker calling out challenges or corporate times of raising hands and singing. He did it in practices. He did it in my 5 minutes of down time each day. He did it through the tears I shed, thinking that there was no way I'd get through the exhausting week in one piece. He did it in the valleys and plains. I've been more challenege in this Summit week than any other I've experience at school. God can reach us just as easy in the plains as the mountains. And when we let Him, even the plains seem like they are touching the sky.
"We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life- those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength." -Oswald Chambers
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Home Sweet Home
Yesterday I boarded a plane to Asheville, North Carolina for a job interview. This is my story...
So, I got to the big booming Green Bay airport (ok, not really...it's tiny) and talked to Jackie on the phone until I got on board. I flew to Detroit and had to walk through this stinking underground tunnel that looks like an underwater experience with weird lights and electronic music (if you've been in the Detroit airport, you know what I'm talking about). I then waited to board the uber small plane that would take me to Asheville. It was a gorgeous day. Not a cloud in the sky and I could look out the window and behold God's amazing creative hand as I stared at mountain ranges and snow caps. It was breathtaking. When I got to the small airport, I had one thing on the mind- how to get to my motel. I need to get to the Days Inn just a mile away (across the highway) but I didn't know how. I stared walking, talking again to Jackie as she laughed her head off at me (picture me, dressed in professional attire, walking down a fairly busy airport driveway, carting a rolling backpack behind me...). So, I decided to take a cab instead. Here's the thing about airport cabs, you have to pay for the amount of time they sat there. I only had $15 with me and the driver said it would start at $8! So...I told him to go ahead and drive. I nervously watched the meter climb...$10, $10.25, $10.50. When it got to $13.50, I told him to pull over and I would get out there. I handed him my money and looked at my surroundings...a McDonald's parking lot. But, in the distance, about 1/2 a mile away was the towering Days Inn sign, a glimmer of hope. I called Jackie again, knowing that she would again get a kick out of my story, and I headed down the access road, once again my luggage in tow.
I got check in fine, met the Residence Director from Taejon Christian International School in South Korea. This was the final step in the interview process. I was applying to be a Resident Assistant at the school. I had to meet with the school's psychologist and he analyzed my personality based on a few tests I had taken before. I met the other guy applying for a job, Mike (who, is moving to S. Korea in just 12 days...crazy! God bless, Mike!). I was introduced to the headmaster and we all went out to eat. What I didn't know was that EVERYONE in the South drinks sweet tea. Pointer: if you're interviewing for a job that requires you to move and adapt in a different country, try to show them that you can adapt to a different culture. Needless to say, I didn't drink sweet tea and I ordered my predictable "water with lemon". Stares ensued and I felt like a moron. We met for a while that night, talking about the school and the ministry. I headed back to my room, chatted on the phone with Julie for an hour, and fell asleep.
The next morning, we all went out to Waffle House for breakfast where I ordered a Pecan Waffle (in the South it's pecan...in the north, it's peecon...let's just say, they could tell I was a Yankee.). We met again after that and contracts were extended to both me and Mike. Now, this isn't just a short term missions trip we're talking about. This isn't just a 1 month experience in a foreign country. This is a 2-year minimum commitment. I would be investing in the lives of 11 and 12th grade girls in the boarding program of a very prestigous Christian school in South Korea. I would be uprooting my life in the states...well, just read my previous blogs and you'll get the gist.
So, after much prayer (thank you, friends who have been so faithful in that area for me) and consideration, I've made my decision. Well, it wasn't really a choice. God made it pretty clear where He wants me and let's just say, I haven't been this excited about the ministry in a long time.
On July 30th, 2007, I will move to Teajon, South Korea to work as an RA in Springer Dorm at TCIS. I wouldn't have been able to guess in a million years that this was where the Lord was leading me. But I'm thankful He has. What an amazing God we serve! S. Korea, here I come!!
But for now, let me just relish in my last 4 months at IWU. Cherish the moments with friends and live in the present. Therefore, you probably won't hear about Korea for a while...just about my life right now. Thanks for reading and praying. God bless!
So, I got to the big booming Green Bay airport (ok, not really...it's tiny) and talked to Jackie on the phone until I got on board. I flew to Detroit and had to walk through this stinking underground tunnel that looks like an underwater experience with weird lights and electronic music (if you've been in the Detroit airport, you know what I'm talking about). I then waited to board the uber small plane that would take me to Asheville. It was a gorgeous day. Not a cloud in the sky and I could look out the window and behold God's amazing creative hand as I stared at mountain ranges and snow caps. It was breathtaking. When I got to the small airport, I had one thing on the mind- how to get to my motel. I need to get to the Days Inn just a mile away (across the highway) but I didn't know how. I stared walking, talking again to Jackie as she laughed her head off at me (picture me, dressed in professional attire, walking down a fairly busy airport driveway, carting a rolling backpack behind me...). So, I decided to take a cab instead. Here's the thing about airport cabs, you have to pay for the amount of time they sat there. I only had $15 with me and the driver said it would start at $8! So...I told him to go ahead and drive. I nervously watched the meter climb...$10, $10.25, $10.50. When it got to $13.50, I told him to pull over and I would get out there. I handed him my money and looked at my surroundings...a McDonald's parking lot. But, in the distance, about 1/2 a mile away was the towering Days Inn sign, a glimmer of hope. I called Jackie again, knowing that she would again get a kick out of my story, and I headed down the access road, once again my luggage in tow.
I got check in fine, met the Residence Director from Taejon Christian International School in South Korea. This was the final step in the interview process. I was applying to be a Resident Assistant at the school. I had to meet with the school's psychologist and he analyzed my personality based on a few tests I had taken before. I met the other guy applying for a job, Mike (who, is moving to S. Korea in just 12 days...crazy! God bless, Mike!). I was introduced to the headmaster and we all went out to eat. What I didn't know was that EVERYONE in the South drinks sweet tea. Pointer: if you're interviewing for a job that requires you to move and adapt in a different country, try to show them that you can adapt to a different culture. Needless to say, I didn't drink sweet tea and I ordered my predictable "water with lemon". Stares ensued and I felt like a moron. We met for a while that night, talking about the school and the ministry. I headed back to my room, chatted on the phone with Julie for an hour, and fell asleep.
The next morning, we all went out to Waffle House for breakfast where I ordered a Pecan Waffle (in the South it's pecan...in the north, it's peecon...let's just say, they could tell I was a Yankee.). We met again after that and contracts were extended to both me and Mike. Now, this isn't just a short term missions trip we're talking about. This isn't just a 1 month experience in a foreign country. This is a 2-year minimum commitment. I would be investing in the lives of 11 and 12th grade girls in the boarding program of a very prestigous Christian school in South Korea. I would be uprooting my life in the states...well, just read my previous blogs and you'll get the gist.
So, after much prayer (thank you, friends who have been so faithful in that area for me) and consideration, I've made my decision. Well, it wasn't really a choice. God made it pretty clear where He wants me and let's just say, I haven't been this excited about the ministry in a long time.
On July 30th, 2007, I will move to Teajon, South Korea to work as an RA in Springer Dorm at TCIS. I wouldn't have been able to guess in a million years that this was where the Lord was leading me. But I'm thankful He has. What an amazing God we serve! S. Korea, here I come!!
But for now, let me just relish in my last 4 months at IWU. Cherish the moments with friends and live in the present. Therefore, you probably won't hear about Korea for a while...just about my life right now. Thanks for reading and praying. God bless!
Monday, December 04, 2006
Entertaining Angels
"are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?"...Hebrews 1:14.
Isn't it crazy to think that I could have met an angel? What does it mean that angels are "ministering spirits"? What does that mean for us? I don't have the answers, I'm just putting the question out there. I wish I had the time to do a full exegesis on the passage...maybe after finals.
Speaking of finals, they are wreched wreched tests that profs. use to suck the life and joy out of students campus-wide in their last few days together before extended breaks...that's all I have to say about that.
I discovered today just how selfish I am. I wrote previously about moving to South Korea. Well, to be frank, I don't want to go anymore. The thought of leaving my friends and family to move half-way around the world only to make new friends and minister to students I may or may not relate to just doesn't appeal to me as much as it did last month. This sudden change in mental outlook caused me to stop and think for a bit. I haven't really prayed about this as much as I should. Things have just all fallen into place so perfectly. My other passions have faded away (no seminary just yet). My interviews went well. My friends and family are supportive. Everyone seems so excited! Then I realized that while all this was falling into place, I wasn't on my knees nearly enough. Sure, I was praying about it. Every single day. But this is a HUGE decision. Why wasn't I fasting and spending hours in silence with our Maker? Why was I not seeking His face with every once of my being? Even if this decision wasn't looming, why hasn't that been my way of life? He doesn't want me to seek His will, He wants me to seek HIM!
So, tonight I stole away to the Community Center Office. The tiny room that houses three RD desks (UC, Townhouses, and Male Apartments) and all the RA boxes is strangely comforting. I just sat and chatted with the Lord. Granted, the RAs on duty came in at 11 for their master keys and I may have looked pretty crazy just sitting the dark of a very very cold room. But reading the Scriptures, journaling prayers to our Lord and just talking to Him has revealed some amazing things. Why don't I want to go to Korea anymore? Because I'm selfish. Plain and simple. I listed off a bunch of reasons why I didn't want to go and they all started with "I don't" or "I won't"...me me me. What is ministry?? The very root of ministry needs to be selflessness. I lost my drive for Korea because I took my eyes off of the ministry side of things. What a great chance the Lord has placed before me!! I have the opportunity to hang out and minister to high school girls from various countries and cultures. I have the chance to spread the love of Christ to those who may not know Him. It's not about me. It's all about what God can accomplish through a willing vessel. So, really, I don't have this chance at all...God does. All I have to do is accept it. He's leading me down a path I never expected and asking me to lay aside my own needs and wants. He's asking me to give up my comfort to follow Him. He's asking me to stop being so dang selfish!! He's asking me to go...
...by george, I think I will.
Isn't it crazy to think that I could have met an angel? What does it mean that angels are "ministering spirits"? What does that mean for us? I don't have the answers, I'm just putting the question out there. I wish I had the time to do a full exegesis on the passage...maybe after finals.
Speaking of finals, they are wreched wreched tests that profs. use to suck the life and joy out of students campus-wide in their last few days together before extended breaks...that's all I have to say about that.
I discovered today just how selfish I am. I wrote previously about moving to South Korea. Well, to be frank, I don't want to go anymore. The thought of leaving my friends and family to move half-way around the world only to make new friends and minister to students I may or may not relate to just doesn't appeal to me as much as it did last month. This sudden change in mental outlook caused me to stop and think for a bit. I haven't really prayed about this as much as I should. Things have just all fallen into place so perfectly. My other passions have faded away (no seminary just yet). My interviews went well. My friends and family are supportive. Everyone seems so excited! Then I realized that while all this was falling into place, I wasn't on my knees nearly enough. Sure, I was praying about it. Every single day. But this is a HUGE decision. Why wasn't I fasting and spending hours in silence with our Maker? Why was I not seeking His face with every once of my being? Even if this decision wasn't looming, why hasn't that been my way of life? He doesn't want me to seek His will, He wants me to seek HIM!
So, tonight I stole away to the Community Center Office. The tiny room that houses three RD desks (UC, Townhouses, and Male Apartments) and all the RA boxes is strangely comforting. I just sat and chatted with the Lord. Granted, the RAs on duty came in at 11 for their master keys and I may have looked pretty crazy just sitting the dark of a very very cold room. But reading the Scriptures, journaling prayers to our Lord and just talking to Him has revealed some amazing things. Why don't I want to go to Korea anymore? Because I'm selfish. Plain and simple. I listed off a bunch of reasons why I didn't want to go and they all started with "I don't" or "I won't"...me me me. What is ministry?? The very root of ministry needs to be selflessness. I lost my drive for Korea because I took my eyes off of the ministry side of things. What a great chance the Lord has placed before me!! I have the opportunity to hang out and minister to high school girls from various countries and cultures. I have the chance to spread the love of Christ to those who may not know Him. It's not about me. It's all about what God can accomplish through a willing vessel. So, really, I don't have this chance at all...God does. All I have to do is accept it. He's leading me down a path I never expected and asking me to lay aside my own needs and wants. He's asking me to give up my comfort to follow Him. He's asking me to stop being so dang selfish!! He's asking me to go...
...by george, I think I will.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Strange Days
I might move to Korea. Did I think I would move to Korea last year? Last month? Last week? No to all accounts. When I first heard of the job I thought "wow, that sounds cool, maybe after seminary." But the Lord has done some crazy things in my heart and now I feel strangely called to this country and ministry. I had my first phone interview on Sunday night and two more are going to follow in the next weeks. If all goes well, I go through a few psychological tests and then fly to Charleston, SC right after Christmas for a face to face interview. What's the job? I'd be a resident assistant for middle school and high school students living at this Christian boarding school. I'd have my own apartment and all my needs would be provided. I would get a salary plus annuity to help with my school loans (it's so weird to actually imagine having money, you don't get that in college). Not all the students at this school are Christians so it would be an amazing ministry. I would be able to work in student development and share the love of Christ with those who don't know Him while upholding and encouraging those who do. It's a two year commitment and surprisingly that doesn't scare me. There are many other RAs my age there so I wouldn't be completely lonely.
I feel like God is tugging me in this new direction and it's exciting but scary. What will happen to these relationships I've spent 4 years building up? How many weddings will I miss out on? How many reunions will I not be able to attend? What if one of the my friends starts dating a guy and I'm not there to disapprove? (hey, it could happen, we're mostly single now but some day...) The fact of the matter is I could spend all day saying "what about" or "what if". That's no way to live. If God is calling me to South Korea then I must go. No if's and's or but's. I'm resting in the fact that last month this wasn't even on the scope. I prayed that God would give me the desire to go and change my heart to be like His. I believe that this is the result. I'm actually desiring this adventure and ministry. The bottom line is, it's not about me. It's about our Father and the minsitry that He has called me to. My whole life may be a series of crazy adventures. They're just starting sooner than I anticipated.
I'm ok with that...
I feel like God is tugging me in this new direction and it's exciting but scary. What will happen to these relationships I've spent 4 years building up? How many weddings will I miss out on? How many reunions will I not be able to attend? What if one of the my friends starts dating a guy and I'm not there to disapprove? (hey, it could happen, we're mostly single now but some day...) The fact of the matter is I could spend all day saying "what about" or "what if". That's no way to live. If God is calling me to South Korea then I must go. No if's and's or but's. I'm resting in the fact that last month this wasn't even on the scope. I prayed that God would give me the desire to go and change my heart to be like His. I believe that this is the result. I'm actually desiring this adventure and ministry. The bottom line is, it's not about me. It's about our Father and the minsitry that He has called me to. My whole life may be a series of crazy adventures. They're just starting sooner than I anticipated.
I'm ok with that...
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Which Way is Up?
It's 2am. I should be sleeping considering that I got about 10 hours in the past two nights combined. I got to see some pretty amazing friends this past weekend. Thank you, God for friends that keep in touch across the miles and can somehow hold you accountable over the phone. Paul, Bre, Julie, Jackie, and Shawn...miss you already! It was too short of a visit and I, for one, needed more time!!
1/2 of the semester left, what now? I'm up to my ears in seminary entrance essays, job applications, and complete confusion. Amidst all the chaos and uncertainty of the future I have this strange peace about life. God's got it, plain and simple. He's got it, so why should I fear anything? I just have to let him take the reigns and we'll continue on the best road trip ever (with the best music...no annoying 80s songs that always seem to creep onto the radio).
I'm tired...goodnight!
1/2 of the semester left, what now? I'm up to my ears in seminary entrance essays, job applications, and complete confusion. Amidst all the chaos and uncertainty of the future I have this strange peace about life. God's got it, plain and simple. He's got it, so why should I fear anything? I just have to let him take the reigns and we'll continue on the best road trip ever (with the best music...no annoying 80s songs that always seem to creep onto the radio).
I'm tired...goodnight!
Monday, September 11, 2006
I Wish I Were a Philosopher
I've just spent about 30 minutes neglecting my Church Leadership homework in favor of reading various IWU religion prof. blogs. Goodness I wish I could write like them. Then I read the comments left by my fellow students, raising perfectly legitimate questions on the blogs of these intensely intellectual men and jealousy rises up in my veins. How I wish I could banter with the best.
Alas, maybe I'm destined to just sing through my thoughts and put them all to melodies that float in the air at coffee shops. Who knows, maybe, just maybe someday I'll be able to conjure up a blog worthy of a Coach D. or Ken Schenck reading. Until then, I'll retire to my keyboard and continue to imagine new chord progressions and rhymes.
Alas, maybe I'm destined to just sing through my thoughts and put them all to melodies that float in the air at coffee shops. Who knows, maybe, just maybe someday I'll be able to conjure up a blog worthy of a Coach D. or Ken Schenck reading. Until then, I'll retire to my keyboard and continue to imagine new chord progressions and rhymes.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Get out of the Boat
Summer. It was supposed to be an amazing time. I was supposed to work at the cafe for 7 weeks and then go on tour with SLAM. I was supposed to... Well, my friends, when you ask the Lord to send you trials in order to make you a stronger person and more Christ-like, He answers (be careful what you pray for). I have worked at the cafe a grand total of 4 times since being home, I've painfully injured my back and am basically bed ridden and have to go to the chiropractor every single day. i got a job as a telemarketer but was asked to do some pretty unethical stuff so I quit after 2 days and once again, I am jobless. I don't have 1/2 of my support raised for tour and I have $400 for school in the fall. PRAISE THE LORD!!!
What?!? Praise the Lord? Life pretty much sucks right now. Why would I be praising the Lord? Because He is calling me out of this boat I'm in. He's walking on the water and wants me to join him in this amazing experience. In order to do that, I need to let go of MY plans. He's answered my prayer and He is sending trials my way. What a privilege! I took my calculator out yesterday and started figuring out how much money I had to earn to be able to go back to school in the fall. Tears started streaming down my face when I realized I wouldn't have enough. Why on earth am I going on a tour for half the summer when I need a job to earn money for school?? It was at that point that my mom came up to me and ask "did you add God in?" hmm. Did I? Why do we limit what the Lord can do? He has always provided for me. Every single year I haven't had enough money for school, yet here I am, a senior. What makes me think He'll stop providing now?
So, I'm getting out of the boat. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. But I know I need to trust that God's got me. So, bring on the waves, I'm ready.
What?!? Praise the Lord? Life pretty much sucks right now. Why would I be praising the Lord? Because He is calling me out of this boat I'm in. He's walking on the water and wants me to join him in this amazing experience. In order to do that, I need to let go of MY plans. He's answered my prayer and He is sending trials my way. What a privilege! I took my calculator out yesterday and started figuring out how much money I had to earn to be able to go back to school in the fall. Tears started streaming down my face when I realized I wouldn't have enough. Why on earth am I going on a tour for half the summer when I need a job to earn money for school?? It was at that point that my mom came up to me and ask "did you add God in?" hmm. Did I? Why do we limit what the Lord can do? He has always provided for me. Every single year I haven't had enough money for school, yet here I am, a senior. What makes me think He'll stop providing now?
So, I'm getting out of the boat. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. But I know I need to trust that God's got me. So, bring on the waves, I'm ready.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Whoa
So, I'm a senior. I have officially finished the hardest year of my college schooling thus far and can I just say...it feels uh-mazing. I just don't know what to do with myself! Between packing and checkouts (one of the joys of being an RA), I just sit and think about what a tough year it's been. From decisions to hardships to being comepletely overwhelmed by school work, it's been one wild year. So, what now? Bring on the summer!! I'm interning at my church as worship leader for 7 weeks then its off to PA for SLAM (sharing love and mercy). For 7 amazing weeks, I get to travel around the east coast performing for kids in outreach centers and other places. Skits, dancing, and singing, all for the Lord. I'm just so excited and can't wait to see the Lord work through our gifts and talents to see little ones come unto him.
So, keep checking in throughout the summer. I'm sure I'll have a ton of great stories from the road. Thank the Lord for summer vacation!!
So, keep checking in throughout the summer. I'm sure I'll have a ton of great stories from the road. Thank the Lord for summer vacation!!
Monday, March 27, 2006
It's About Time...
So, it's March of 2006. I haven't updated in like 10 years. Partly because I don't have the time. Partly because I figure nobody reads these blogs anyway. Yet here I am, updating, mostly for my own sake. Four weeks left of junior year. Let's just say that these are crazy days. Senior friends freaking out because they have no idea what to do. Feeling so sad that I'm losing some of my closest friends to that blasted graduation event. Yet, realizing the sweetness in the coming summer.
I'm interning at my church for the first 6 weeks of the summer. I will be the worship leader. After that, I'm touring for 7 weeks with SLAM (sharing love and mercy). 8 college students. Inner city camps and parks. Skits, music, dance and getting to hang out with some pretty amazing kids who just need the love of Jesus in their lives. Wow, the Lord is good!
But for now, I need to live in the moment. It's been a rough semester, not academically but emotionally. Events have taken my heart down some troubled paths. Yet, the Lord is still good! He's teaching me that I need to protect my heart each and everyday...such a hard job for a girl!
In other news, my new CD comes out on Wednesday. If you would've asked me in high school if I'd ever record a CD, I would've said "probably not." If you would've asked me last year if I'd ever record another CD, I would've said "oh, no way." But God continues to amaze me with opportunities. So, here we are. I pray that this album is a minstry and not just an entertainment piece. I wrote a song over spring break that didn't make it on the album in time. But I pray that the words speak to all those in limbo with the future...
I'm interning at my church for the first 6 weeks of the summer. I will be the worship leader. After that, I'm touring for 7 weeks with SLAM (sharing love and mercy). 8 college students. Inner city camps and parks. Skits, music, dance and getting to hang out with some pretty amazing kids who just need the love of Jesus in their lives. Wow, the Lord is good!
But for now, I need to live in the moment. It's been a rough semester, not academically but emotionally. Events have taken my heart down some troubled paths. Yet, the Lord is still good! He's teaching me that I need to protect my heart each and everyday...such a hard job for a girl!
In other news, my new CD comes out on Wednesday. If you would've asked me in high school if I'd ever record a CD, I would've said "probably not." If you would've asked me last year if I'd ever record another CD, I would've said "oh, no way." But God continues to amaze me with opportunities. So, here we are. I pray that this album is a minstry and not just an entertainment piece. I wrote a song over spring break that didn't make it on the album in time. But I pray that the words speak to all those in limbo with the future...
Welcome indecision. Pull up, take a seat
Enter alternative, unknown we finally meet
Cease this masquerade. Play on vulnerability
These maybe's keep on trying my heart's agility
Will it be yes or will it be no?
Is this my path or the wrong way to go?
Will it be now or later on?
Is it my path that I am on?
I've made a couple wrong turns
Planting this fear inside
Of chosing the wrong course, telling me it's time to hide
Will it be yes...(etc.)
Maybe tomorrow I'll find certainty
Only when I'm down on my knees
Our great Father, guide me, lead on
My compass fails me and clarity is gone
So leave me indecision, no more will I flee
Cuz prayers are being lifted and someone's looking out for me.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Treading Water
Thank you to Nathanael Miles who so kindly pointed out to me that my blog hadn't been updated since Sept 2...by the way, he was checking this in the middle of the Religion Division's Colloquium today. Way to pay attention Nathanael.
Well, here we are. The semester is coming to a close. If I had to give one word to summarize the first semester of my junior year at IWU it would be- are-you-kidding-me-right-now? Everything would've been fine if not for these atrocious classes I am enrolled in. The work hasn't stopped and my room has been the most viewed scenery this year. My roommate is off in Taiwan student teaching and still has about 3.5 weeks left. It has been truly sad. My joy has depleated. Being an RA hasn't been stressful, it's actually helped me this year. The girls are so encouraging and living in the Lodges with an amazing RA staff has been fabulous. Still, it doesn't lessen the pain felt from Dr. Bounds' theology exams or Dr. Turcott's communication theory papers, or even worse, Prof. Edwards crazy huge prompt books for directing class. But, lest I forget, junior year is what separates the girls from the...tougher girls. So, right here, right now, the complaining with cease and I will ever be greatful for a crazy semester that has made me work hard, longer, and with more veracity than any before.
The joy of the Lord really is my strength. I lost my joy for a time this semester and, consequently, lost my strength. Neglecting to spend time in the Word, I mean significant time in the Word hinders you more than you ever thought possible. I just thank the Lord that He brought be back on track and that this semester is finally drawing to a close.
Well, here we are. The semester is coming to a close. If I had to give one word to summarize the first semester of my junior year at IWU it would be- are-you-kidding-me-right-now? Everything would've been fine if not for these atrocious classes I am enrolled in. The work hasn't stopped and my room has been the most viewed scenery this year. My roommate is off in Taiwan student teaching and still has about 3.5 weeks left. It has been truly sad. My joy has depleated. Being an RA hasn't been stressful, it's actually helped me this year. The girls are so encouraging and living in the Lodges with an amazing RA staff has been fabulous. Still, it doesn't lessen the pain felt from Dr. Bounds' theology exams or Dr. Turcott's communication theory papers, or even worse, Prof. Edwards crazy huge prompt books for directing class. But, lest I forget, junior year is what separates the girls from the...tougher girls. So, right here, right now, the complaining with cease and I will ever be greatful for a crazy semester that has made me work hard, longer, and with more veracity than any before.
The joy of the Lord really is my strength. I lost my joy for a time this semester and, consequently, lost my strength. Neglecting to spend time in the Word, I mean significant time in the Word hinders you more than you ever thought possible. I just thank the Lord that He brought be back on track and that this semester is finally drawing to a close.
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