Thursday, June 21, 2007

My Life at Present...

Steal my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time, my time has come
Let me in unlock the door
I've never felt this way before

The wheels just keep on turning
The drummer's began to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know which way I've come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For your I've waited all these years

For you I'd wait til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,
"I wouldn't change a single thing."

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know what I've become.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,
Until my days, my days are done.
Say you'll come and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

~"Til Kingdom Come"- Coldplay

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Lazy Summer Days

Now that I'm home, life has taken a drastic turn. I am no longer frantically finishing papers, putting together worship services, keeping up with which resident is doing is different. Life is weird.

My typical post-graduation day (besides my 3-week missions trip to the Czech Republic, which was challenging yet amazing...ask me about it sometime, it's still too fresh to really process) looks a little like this:

11:00- roll out of bed
11:10- eat whatever granola bar happens to be in the cupboard
11:15- sit down with my TCIS stuff (the school in Korea), my loan stuff, my grad school stuff and any other "stuff" that seems to be in my life.
11:20- take a break from staring at all the forms, calls, emails and to-do lists that I have to tackle and see what's on TV
11:25- turn the TV off because there is NOTHING on and get back to the stuff.
1:00- lunch
1:30-6:00- organize or pack something else, do some errands, watch an episode of Christy (yes, now have the whole series on DVD), call friends, read, or just sit and stare at the ceiling, wondering how in the world I got here.
6:00- dinner
6:15 (Dainsbergs are fast eaters)-12:00- hang out with the fam.

Exciting life? I'm going with a "no". But my days are full of contemplation and preparation. I know that I've talked about Korea a lot in this blog but now that I'm less than two months away (and only 3 weeks from orientation), it's more real to me than ever.

I miss IWU. I don't miss the course load or the unending stress. I miss the spiritual community that was always pushing you to go deeper with the Lord. Since being home, my relationship with Papa hasn't been the greatest. Maybe it's my current state of anxiety. Maybe it's because I sit alone a lot of the day and can't muster up enough self-motivation. Maybe I'm just not trying. Whatever it is, it isn't right. So, something's gotta change. Somewhere in my daily schedule, God needs a big chunk of alone time with me...

So there you have it, my thoughts about summer thus far on this, the 7th day of June. Even though most of us who just graduated from college are going through a variety of emotions, please keep me in your prayers. I'm leaving everything in 54 days and moving to the other side of the world.

...but it's ok- God's there too!