Home Sweet Home

Yesterday I boarded a plane to Asheville, North Carolina for a job interview. This is my story...

So, I got to the big booming Green Bay airport (ok, not really...it's tiny) and talked to Jackie on the phone until I got on board. I flew to Detroit and had to walk through this stinking underground tunnel that looks like an underwater experience with weird lights and electronic music (if you've been in the Detroit airport, you know what I'm talking about). I then waited to board the uber small plane that would take me to Asheville. It was a gorgeous day. Not a cloud in the sky and I could look out the window and behold God's amazing creative hand as I stared at mountain ranges and snow caps. It was breathtaking. When I got to the small airport, I had one thing on the mind- how to get to my motel. I need to get to the Days Inn just a mile away (across the highway) but I didn't know how. I stared walking, talking again to Jackie as she laughed her head off at me (picture me, dressed in professional attire, walking down a fairly busy airport driveway, carting a rolling backpack behind me...). So, I decided to take a cab instead. Here's the thing about airport cabs, you have to pay for the amount of time they sat there. I only had $15 with me and the driver said it would start at $8! So...I told him to go ahead and drive. I nervously watched the meter climb...$10, $10.25, $10.50. When it got to $13.50, I told him to pull over and I would get out there. I handed him my money and looked at my surroundings...a McDonald's parking lot. But, in the distance, about 1/2 a mile away was the towering Days Inn sign, a glimmer of hope. I called Jackie again, knowing that she would again get a kick out of my story, and I headed down the access road, once again my luggage in tow.

I got check in fine, met the Residence Director from Taejon Christian International School in South Korea. This was the final step in the interview process. I was applying to be a Resident Assistant at the school. I had to meet with the school's psychologist and he analyzed my personality based on a few tests I had taken before. I met the other guy applying for a job, Mike (who, is moving to S. Korea in just 12 days...crazy! God bless, Mike!). I was introduced to the headmaster and we all went out to eat. What I didn't know was that EVERYONE in the South drinks sweet tea. Pointer: if you're interviewing for a job that requires you to move and adapt in a different country, try to show them that you can adapt to a different culture. Needless to say, I didn't drink sweet tea and I ordered my predictable "water with lemon". Stares ensued and I felt like a moron. We met for a while that night, talking about the school and the ministry. I headed back to my room, chatted on the phone with Julie for an hour, and fell asleep.

The next morning, we all went out to Waffle House for breakfast where I ordered a Pecan Waffle (in the South it's pecan...in the north, it's peecon...let's just say, they could tell I was a Yankee.). We met again after that and contracts were extended to both me and Mike. Now, this isn't just a short term missions trip we're talking about. This isn't just a 1 month experience in a foreign country. This is a 2-year minimum commitment. I would be investing in the lives of 11 and 12th grade girls in the boarding program of a very prestigous Christian school in South Korea. I would be uprooting my life in the states...well, just read my previous blogs and you'll get the gist.

So, after much prayer (thank you, friends who have been so faithful in that area for me) and consideration, I've made my decision. Well, it wasn't really a choice. God made it pretty clear where He wants me and let's just say, I haven't been this excited about the ministry in a long time.

On July 30th, 2007, I will move to Teajon, South Korea to work as an RA in Springer Dorm at TCIS. I wouldn't have been able to guess in a million years that this was where the Lord was leading me. But I'm thankful He has. What an amazing God we serve! S. Korea, here I come!!

But for now, let me just relish in my last 4 months at IWU. Cherish the moments with friends and live in the present. Therefore, you probably won't hear about Korea for a while...just about my life right now. Thanks for reading and praying. God bless!

Entertaining Angels

"are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?"...Hebrews 1:14.

Isn't it crazy to think that I could have met an angel? What does it mean that angels are "ministering spirits"? What does that mean for us? I don't have the answers, I'm just putting the question out there. I wish I had the time to do a full exegesis on the passage...maybe after finals.

Speaking of finals, they are wreched wreched tests that profs. use to suck the life and joy out of students campus-wide in their last few days together before extended breaks...that's all I have to say about that.

I discovered today just how selfish I am. I wrote previously about moving to South Korea. Well, to be frank, I don't want to go anymore. The thought of leaving my friends and family to move half-way around the world only to make new friends and minister to students I may or may not relate to just doesn't appeal to me as much as it did last month. This sudden change in mental outlook caused me to stop and think for a bit. I haven't really prayed about this as much as I should. Things have just all fallen into place so perfectly. My other passions have faded away (no seminary just yet). My interviews went well. My friends and family are supportive. Everyone seems so excited! Then I realized that while all this was falling into place, I wasn't on my knees nearly enough. Sure, I was praying about it. Every single day. But this is a HUGE decision. Why wasn't I fasting and spending hours in silence with our Maker? Why was I not seeking His face with every once of my being? Even if this decision wasn't looming, why hasn't that been my way of life? He doesn't want me to seek His will, He wants me to seek HIM!

So, tonight I stole away to the Community Center Office. The tiny room that houses three RD desks (UC, Townhouses, and Male Apartments) and all the RA boxes is strangely comforting. I just sat and chatted with the Lord. Granted, the RAs on duty came in at 11 for their master keys and I may have looked pretty crazy just sitting the dark of a very very cold room. But reading the Scriptures, journaling prayers to our Lord and just talking to Him has revealed some amazing things. Why don't I want to go to Korea anymore? Because I'm selfish. Plain and simple. I listed off a bunch of reasons why I didn't want to go and they all started with "I don't" or "I won't"...me me me. What is ministry?? The very root of ministry needs to be selflessness. I lost my drive for Korea because I took my eyes off of the ministry side of things. What a great chance the Lord has placed before me!! I have the opportunity to hang out and minister to high school girls from various countries and cultures. I have the chance to spread the love of Christ to those who may not know Him. It's not about me. It's all about what God can accomplish through a willing vessel. So, really, I don't have this chance at all...God does. All I have to do is accept it. He's leading me down a path I never expected and asking me to lay aside my own needs and wants. He's asking me to give up my comfort to follow Him. He's asking me to stop being so dang selfish!! He's asking me to go...






...by george, I think I will.

Strange Days

I might move to Korea. Did I think I would move to Korea last year? Last month? Last week? No to all accounts. When I first heard of the job I thought "wow, that sounds cool, maybe after seminary." But the Lord has done some crazy things in my heart and now I feel strangely called to this country and ministry. I had my first phone interview on Sunday night and two more are going to follow in the next weeks. If all goes well, I go through a few psychological tests and then fly to Charleston, SC right after Christmas for a face to face interview. What's the job? I'd be a resident assistant for middle school and high school students living at this Christian boarding school. I'd have my own apartment and all my needs would be provided. I would get a salary plus annuity to help with my school loans (it's so weird to actually imagine having money, you don't get that in college). Not all the students at this school are Christians so it would be an amazing ministry. I would be able to work in student development and share the love of Christ with those who don't know Him while upholding and encouraging those who do. It's a two year commitment and surprisingly that doesn't scare me. There are many other RAs my age there so I wouldn't be completely lonely.

I feel like God is tugging me in this new direction and it's exciting but scary. What will happen to these relationships I've spent 4 years building up? How many weddings will I miss out on? How many reunions will I not be able to attend? What if one of the my friends starts dating a guy and I'm not there to disapprove? (hey, it could happen, we're mostly single now but some day...) The fact of the matter is I could spend all day saying "what about" or "what if". That's no way to live. If God is calling me to South Korea then I must go. No if's and's or but's. I'm resting in the fact that last month this wasn't even on the scope. I prayed that God would give me the desire to go and change my heart to be like His. I believe that this is the result. I'm actually desiring this adventure and ministry. The bottom line is, it's not about me. It's about our Father and the minsitry that He has called me to. My whole life may be a series of crazy adventures. They're just starting sooner than I anticipated.



I'm ok with that...

Which Way is Up?

It's 2am. I should be sleeping considering that I got about 10 hours in the past two nights combined. I got to see some pretty amazing friends this past weekend. Thank you, God for friends that keep in touch across the miles and can somehow hold you accountable over the phone. Paul, Bre, Julie, Jackie, and Shawn...miss you already! It was too short of a visit and I, for one, needed more time!!

1/2 of the semester left, what now? I'm up to my ears in seminary entrance essays, job applications, and complete confusion. Amidst all the chaos and uncertainty of the future I have this strange peace about life. God's got it, plain and simple. He's got it, so why should I fear anything? I just have to let him take the reigns and we'll continue on the best road trip ever (with the best music...no annoying 80s songs that always seem to creep onto the radio).

I'm tired...goodnight!

I Wish I Were a Philosopher

I've just spent about 30 minutes neglecting my Church Leadership homework in favor of reading various IWU religion prof. blogs. Goodness I wish I could write like them. Then I read the comments left by my fellow students, raising perfectly legitimate questions on the blogs of these intensely intellectual men and jealousy rises up in my veins. How I wish I could banter with the best.

Alas, maybe I'm destined to just sing through my thoughts and put them all to melodies that float in the air at coffee shops. Who knows, maybe, just maybe someday I'll be able to conjure up a blog worthy of a Coach D. or Ken Schenck reading. Until then, I'll retire to my keyboard and continue to imagine new chord progressions and rhymes.

Get out of the Boat

Summer. It was supposed to be an amazing time. I was supposed to work at the cafe for 7 weeks and then go on tour with SLAM. I was supposed to... Well, my friends, when you ask the Lord to send you trials in order to make you a stronger person and more Christ-like, He answers (be careful what you pray for). I have worked at the cafe a grand total of 4 times since being home, I've painfully injured my back and am basically bed ridden and have to go to the chiropractor every single day. i got a job as a telemarketer but was asked to do some pretty unethical stuff so I quit after 2 days and once again, I am jobless. I don't have 1/2 of my support raised for tour and I have $400 for school in the fall. PRAISE THE LORD!!!

What?!? Praise the Lord? Life pretty much sucks right now. Why would I be praising the Lord? Because He is calling me out of this boat I'm in. He's walking on the water and wants me to join him in this amazing experience. In order to do that, I need to let go of MY plans. He's answered my prayer and He is sending trials my way. What a privilege! I took my calculator out yesterday and started figuring out how much money I had to earn to be able to go back to school in the fall. Tears started streaming down my face when I realized I wouldn't have enough. Why on earth am I going on a tour for half the summer when I need a job to earn money for school?? It was at that point that my mom came up to me and ask "did you add God in?" hmm. Did I? Why do we limit what the Lord can do? He has always provided for me. Every single year I haven't had enough money for school, yet here I am, a senior. What makes me think He'll stop providing now?

So, I'm getting out of the boat. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. But I know I need to trust that God's got me. So, bring on the waves, I'm ready.

Whoa

So, I'm a senior. I have officially finished the hardest year of my college schooling thus far and can I just say...it feels uh-mazing. I just don't know what to do with myself! Between packing and checkouts (one of the joys of being an RA), I just sit and think about what a tough year it's been. From decisions to hardships to being comepletely overwhelmed by school work, it's been one wild year. So, what now? Bring on the summer!! I'm interning at my church as worship leader for 7 weeks then its off to PA for SLAM (sharing love and mercy). For 7 amazing weeks, I get to travel around the east coast performing for kids in outreach centers and other places. Skits, dancing, and singing, all for the Lord. I'm just so excited and can't wait to see the Lord work through our gifts and talents to see little ones come unto him.

So, keep checking in throughout the summer. I'm sure I'll have a ton of great stories from the road. Thank the Lord for summer vacation!!

It's About Time...

So, it's March of 2006. I haven't updated in like 10 years. Partly because I don't have the time. Partly because I figure nobody reads these blogs anyway. Yet here I am, updating, mostly for my own sake. Four weeks left of junior year. Let's just say that these are crazy days. Senior friends freaking out because they have no idea what to do. Feeling so sad that I'm losing some of my closest friends to that blasted graduation event. Yet, realizing the sweetness in the coming summer.

I'm interning at my church for the first 6 weeks of the summer. I will be the worship leader. After that, I'm touring for 7 weeks with SLAM (sharing love and mercy). 8 college students. Inner city camps and parks. Skits, music, dance and getting to hang out with some pretty amazing kids who just need the love of Jesus in their lives. Wow, the Lord is good!

But for now, I need to live in the moment. It's been a rough semester, not academically but emotionally. Events have taken my heart down some troubled paths. Yet, the Lord is still good! He's teaching me that I need to protect my heart each and everyday...such a hard job for a girl!

In other news, my new CD comes out on Wednesday. If you would've asked me in high school if I'd ever record a CD, I would've said "probably not." If you would've asked me last year if I'd ever record another CD, I would've said "oh, no way." But God continues to amaze me with opportunities. So, here we are. I pray that this album is a minstry and not just an entertainment piece. I wrote a song over spring break that didn't make it on the album in time. But I pray that the words speak to all those in limbo with the future...

Welcome indecision. Pull up, take a seat

Enter alternative, unknown we finally meet

Cease this masquerade. Play on vulnerability

These maybe's keep on trying my heart's agility

Will it be yes or will it be no?

Is this my path or the wrong way to go?

Will it be now or later on?

Is it my path that I am on?

I've made a couple wrong turns

Planting this fear inside

Of chosing the wrong course, telling me it's time to hide

Will it be yes...(etc.)

Maybe tomorrow I'll find certainty

Only when I'm down on my knees

Our great Father, guide me, lead on

My compass fails me and clarity is gone

So leave me indecision, no more will I flee

Cuz prayers are being lifted and someone's looking out for me.