Thursday, November 17, 2005

Treading Water

Thank you to Nathanael Miles who so kindly pointed out to me that my blog hadn't been updated since Sept the way, he was checking this in the middle of the Religion Division's Colloquium today. Way to pay attention Nathanael.

Well, here we are. The semester is coming to a close. If I had to give one word to summarize the first semester of my junior year at IWU it would be- are-you-kidding-me-right-now? Everything would've been fine if not for these atrocious classes I am enrolled in. The work hasn't stopped and my room has been the most viewed scenery this year. My roommate is off in Taiwan student teaching and still has about 3.5 weeks left. It has been truly sad. My joy has depleated. Being an RA hasn't been stressful, it's actually helped me this year. The girls are so encouraging and living in the Lodges with an amazing RA staff has been fabulous. Still, it doesn't lessen the pain felt from Dr. Bounds' theology exams or Dr. Turcott's communication theory papers, or even worse, Prof. Edwards crazy huge prompt books for directing class. But, lest I forget, junior year is what separates the girls from the...tougher girls. So, right here, right now, the complaining with cease and I will ever be greatful for a crazy semester that has made me work hard, longer, and with more veracity than any before.

The joy of the Lord really is my strength. I lost my joy for a time this semester and, consequently, lost my strength. Neglecting to spend time in the Word, I mean significant time in the Word hinders you more than you ever thought possible. I just thank the Lord that He brought be back on track and that this semester is finally drawing to a close.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

The Journey of Junior Year

Ok, so you may call me the worst blogger in the history of bloggers if you wish. It's been...a while since the last one. But I think a little grace is in order. So, it's back to school (although I never really left) after the BSE (best summer ever!). I loved ever minute of this summer. I grew so much in the Lord and I just pray that I don't backslide with all the stresses of school approaching. For the past 2.5 weeks I've been living here, in North Lodge 107 and attending RA training. Yup, for the second year, I'm gonna be an RA. Why? Because I want to see this campus make a 180. I want to see revival in the hearts of those around me. I want to make an impact and show that I really care about the girls living in my unit. So, pray for me. It's gonna be a long year. To top that off, I'm entering the JUNIOR YEAR (dum, dum, dum...melodic dum's to infer danger ahead). My classes are all major classes....well, except badminton, and I'm super pumped about it. I'm also nervous. Maybe I really don't have what it takes. I'm gonna be getting into some pretty deep theological issues in my classes this year and I pray that I'll be about to sort it all out.

Other than being a little scared for classes, I'm ready for the year to begin. My RA staff is amazing, my friends are supportive, and the Lord is sovereign. If you get a chance, pray for the fam...Kim, my sister, is in Bolivia until Dec. teaching at the Santa Cruz Christian Learning Center. Bolivia isn't a very politically stable country and there is a lot of unrest there. The little bro, Kyle, is now a freshman at Greenville College in Illinios. Get this, his major is Christian Contemporary Music. Grr!! The little punk gets to spend class time in a recording studio and studying the likes of Michael W. Smith. Am I jealous? No, because I'm where the Lord wants me. But if you think of it, pray for him.

Well, you made it! Thanks for reading! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Monday, June 06, 2005


Who doesn't love the summer? Beautiful weather, no school, jobs that earn money...I've been back on campus for about three weeks now working for conference services- tech staff. It's been a rough ride. The first week was ok because I was surrounded by friends still here for May term. But last week was one of the lonliest weeks of my life. Work from 8-5 then returning to my room where I sat and practiced music, learned (kinda) how to knit, and watched two seasons of Friends. It was tough. I'm such a people person and there weren't any of my good friends around, no family, nothing. It was the best week...why? Because it caused me to appreciate my friends more than ever. It made me turn to the Lord for my comfort and I found it! Just praying out loud in conversation form really puts Him right there, next to you. Now Danika is back from China and Pudge is's turning into a pretty great summer. Making some new friends and growing leaps and bounds in the Lord. I wish I could write all the amazing things He's teaching me, but it would just be too long. It's not that God is showing me His will just yet, but He is revealing some pretty incredible possibilities that I had never thought of. I'm content with not knowing. I'm content in my singleness and solitude this summer. I'm ready, willing, and now able to accept whatever our awesome Lord has in store for my life.

Sunday, May 08, 2005


I'm home. After spending an entire semester away from the great city of Green Bay, last week I returned. Can't say everything's the same: new babies, friends married, and a ton of new buildings and construction...This week was spent sleeping and catching up with old friends. Next week: waitressing, chilling with friends who are finally coming home from college, and saying bye to Jason, a great friend who is growing up and moving into his career (literally). It's kinda crazy. I didn't really realize how quickly things change. I guess I'm in that time of life where pretty big decisions come into play. Watching Dawson's Creek reruns every morning this week, I came to miss high school. Then Jason so aptly reminded me that I was really immature back then and I've changed for the better...thank you Jason. Oh well, I guess this blast from the past will tide me over until next summer when I experience it all over again.

Two weeks left until I head back (somewhat regretfully) to IWU. I was excited to return until I realized how many people I love and miss here. Oh well, these nostalgic ramblings just might be my sleep-deprived body telling me to hit the sack. Until next time...

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Bitter Sweet

So tonight I fully realized that my sophomore year is coming to an end. My time in Shatford is expiring, and the power suite of Jen, Ang, and Megan will be no more. Not to mention the staff that I have grown to love so much will have just a few more meetings together. Sad? Extremely. I hate getting older. The amazing girls in my unit will no longer be just a few steps away. Yet there is so much awaiting me. I can't wait to go home. January 7th I rolled down the street and haven't seen my house, little brother, or friends since. I miss my corner room on the second floor with the big windows where I can just sit and look out to the neighborhood or the backyard and read. I miss going to church, knowing everyone, and joking around with Pastor Adam and the rest of the worship team. I miss my restaurant where I waitress, making Starbuck's drinks all day and having a blast with the rest of the waitstaff (and the ghetto dishwashers and stuck-up chefs). And, yes, I miss Wisconsin cheese. I miss going to Storheim's Frozen Custard and eating cheese curds with the youth group or high school friends. While my three weeks at home this May will be short-lived...I can't wait. Then it's back to school. I anticipate that this summer will fly by. Between working my tail off, spending hours upon hours with my keyboard and guitar in the dorm room, and hanging out with friends, I'll be plenty busy. Sooner than I know it, it'll be time to move into the north lodge and start my junior year. Bitter sweet? Of course. Leaving the familiar behind and moving will be a challenge. But life would be so boring if not for challenges and change. It's all just another bend in the road...

Saturday, April 02, 2005


Another on-duty weekend in the good ole' Shatford House. You know, while it may seem like a bummer to have to spend my entire weekend in a dorm and miss out on what my friends are doing, it truly is a blessing. I get to chill with some amazing freshmen girls and like tonight, chill with some pretty amazing RAs for 3 hours while watching the 9th season of friends (good times). I also get to complete all the things on my "to do list" that I have procrastinated on all month...

So, this week I finally figured out what to do for the rest of my life (or at least right after graduation). I could just picture God up there sitting on the edge of His seat, cheering me on to actually see where He was leading. Who am I to think that He has given me this insurmountable passion for music for mere pleasure? Churches are crying out for qualified worship leaders who truly have a passion for praising our awesome Father. That's where you'll find me. Working in a church, leading the worship part time while I hopefully tour independently part time. Yup, you heard me. I'm taking the plundge and concentrating on writing more and pursuing this "hobby" as a potential vocation. Hopefully after a summer on campus (living in Evans 103 all by myself) with my keyboard and yet-to-be-purchased guitar I'll have a clearly defined goal and direction. I hope you realize just how exciting this is. Five years ago I was going to be a Marine Biologist training dolphins at Sea World. Three years ago I was going to start my own record lable in London, England, and one year ago I was going to be a Public relations consultant for a non-profit organization. Praise God for clarity!!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Survivor: St. George

Spring break '05 has come and gone and it was an adventure to say the least...

The two IWU vans set out with 16 students (9 guys, 7 girls) at noon on Sunday. Lets just say that the guys didn't want to stop for rest room breaks and I ended up using a plastic bag for a very different purpose...Anyway, we got to St. George Island at around 3 in the morning and slept out on the beach. The next day, we kayacked 6 miles to Little St. George and set up camp. At 6:30, the fun started. We were sent into our tents because of rain. It turned into a huge storm that didn't let up until morning. Winds at 50 mph had me and Jackie holding up our tent the entire time. Three of the guys came by at around midnight to see how we were doing and the rain started again, so they stayed in Angela's tent and she came into ours (yeah for 3 girls in a two-man tent). Little did we know that there were a good 3 tornados in that area that night. The next day was amazing! The sun was shining but the wind was still strong. Angela got stung by a scorpion and the wind blew away one of our tents...But God allowed us to recover the Bibles that were in it along with a couple other items (including the tent bag, thanks for the irony). We left a day early and kayacked back (just the girls) in really rough waters and cold temps. It was so hard and scary, but we felt so buff after! We stuffed our faces with pizza and headed back to the good ole' IWU. All was going well (except for the really long graveyard driving shift I had between Alabama and Indiana with no music...) when a little friend showed up in Noblesville. Just 40 mins from school, a scorpion crawled out of my clothes and stung my neck...CRAZY! The whole van was screaming. What a way to cap off a crazy spring break.

I spent the next three days in the dorm alone...noboby else was allowed back on campus yet and my amazing RD gave me the keys to her apartment. So, I spent the time watching the entire first season of Gilmore Girls and sleeping. What a blessing to spend that time in solitude! When the guys got back, I finally had human interaction and chilled with Luke H. and Zack. Now everyone is back, including my wonderful roommie, Jen!

God taught me the importance of solitude this break. There were times when I would go off on the island and spend 2 hours in prayer or in the Word and it felt as though 15 mins. passed. He spoke to me louder than ever and I can't tell you how much I learned. Thank the Lord for struggles and triumphs!

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Ready fo Break!

Michelle told me that I better update this or else she's gonna fire me from blogging.

I jogged up to Fort Wayne on Saturday to say hey to Michelle and Ben and Justin from Across the Sky. On the way there I got pulled over (92 in a 65...only a warning!) and got lost (I kinda ended up in Ohio)...It's ok though, totally worth it to see them.

Ready for spring break anyone! Just one more week...

Monday, February 21, 2005

Who Are We?

Who are we to doubt the Almighty God? He created the universe for goodness sake! He's the same God that was there when David stood to face Goliath. He was there when Abraham was about to sacrifice his son. He's got experience in the area of directing people's lives. Yet we still seem to think ourselves mighty enough to question him. I need to learn to trust him FULLY. No more of this day-in-day-out trust you today, maybe tomorrow junk. His timing is perfect. Deal with it!

Didn't mean to sound bitter. Just something laid on my heart. Have a blessed day everyone!

Friday, February 18, 2005

Insert Title Here

Why must we name our internet ramblings? Would a title really turn you off to reading the following insights? Isn't that just judging a book by it's cover?

What a day. I don't quite know what to do with myself. I have to continue to focus on this year, after all not even half the semester is gone. Yet I find myself thinking about next year and what that will bring. A new staff, new living quarters. On top of that, I still have to decide what to do this summer. Wouldn't it be nice if all summer jobs paid the same amount of money? That would alleviate so many problems. But that isn't the case and I'm left to chose between three great jobs and three very different locations. Hey, it's all good though...God's got it under control. He always does. If there's one thing that I've learned (this year particularly) it's that your plan isn't necessarily God's plan and he'll make sure you know that sooner or later.

So, what do you do when you realize that you've just spent two years at a school that doesn't have the major you really need? Do you stay at the school and make due or do you transfer? Any thoughts??

Alright, enough incoherent thoughts from this girl tonight. Theatre midterm studying is calling my name...

Monday, February 14, 2005

The Plunge

I promised myself over and over that I would never partake in this blogging, xanga madness. Well, ladies and gents, I've caved in. Can't say there will be much substance here, but if you're looking for deep thoughts to intrigue your mind, personal contact is much better. So without further ado, my thoughts:

I just got back from the great city of Nashville, Tennessee. I was down there all weekend for the GMA Academy. Basically, I went to a bunch of seminars that taught me how to be a better musician/songwriter and what I need to do to "make it". The past three days have probably been the most beneficial in a long time. Driving 6 hours, staying the night in a motel, and attending seminars (all alone) really allowed me time to think. God taught me more in my moments of lonliness than I could've ever asked for. My life seems to have so much more direction now. I met some awesome people (producers, artists, A&R reps) and my CD got the exposure that it needed. I take comfort knowing that it's all in God's hands. I am merely the clay waiting to be molded. On the lighter side, chillaxin' in Nashville with some amazing friends (Jen, Tom, Angela, Bethany, and Matt) wasn't too shabby either. (Margaret, wish you could've been there, having fun in France? Wally says hey)

But reality is a very hard wall to hit and it came in the form of IWU. I love the school and everyone here, but part of my heart still lies in Nashville, where the music never dies and dreams can be found around every corner. Until we meet again...